I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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