I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
