As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
50% drunk capacity currently
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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