i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
