Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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