U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
