He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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