There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
