I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
whose parrot is this?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
