I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
