the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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