So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
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I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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