please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
These tits shall not be calmed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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