K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
