Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
