He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
