The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
