My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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