it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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