We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
