I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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