i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
