i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
