so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
