What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
