found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize