Life is so much better after having sex.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
