Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize