Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
