Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize