Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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