I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
