You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
