i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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