i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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