So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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