Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
