you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Barsexuality is the new black.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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