Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
