No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
