I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
