dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You are a genius and a whore.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
