its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize