Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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