Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
