I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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