So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
