I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
