I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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