Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize