what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
