Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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