I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
