I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
