what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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