i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
