what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Define "chronic" masturbator.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just pee around me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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