rhymes with "ouble enetration"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
