i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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