Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
