Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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