dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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