he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
