4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
