I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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